I had to write a post about this after listening to the beginning of Week 4s lecture.
It did not become apparent to me till very recently the psychological damage caused by Narcacistic parents. It is also very difficult for me to admit that both my parents perfectly fit the description of being Narcacistic. Behaviours like being over bearing, controlling, living vicariously and aloofness where all present for most of my life.
It is comforting to understand why parents behave and parent this way. It is much easier to forgive. It is even harder to see parents of my generation do it to their children now.
I want to end with sending all the love and light to all Narcacistic parents including mine. May that find the courage to love themselves enough so that need not to project their needs onto their children anymore. Bless them all 🙏
You have a good point here and narcissistic parents/people are known to be quite insidious about getting their attention. Oftentimes it doesn't matter if the attention is positive or negative because they just want ANY attention and go to great lengths. For you, just like myself, you will want to watch yourself for similar projections that may be residual behavioral habits they tried to instill in you, such as your father, by their own projections. Likewise, you sensitivity to them may have caused you to overcompensate as an empathetic person too. If this is also the case it can set you up to be taken advantage of because narcissists will seek out those they can suck energy from; I think of them as soul vampires.
Because this was your parents then you may find yourself in unfortunate circumstances with relationships with the wrong type of women because of your own mother. Chances are if a partner reminds you of you mother in that way you should run to avoid the cycle of abuse. I suggest keenly analyzing your own behaviors to see how they match up. Most likely the parent of the same sex is responsible for how we handle ourselves and treat the opposite sex and the parent of the opposite sex is who we look for in partners. I figured this out the hard way and wish you well with this, don't spend energy on these types of people and draw clear, hard boundaries.